Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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