Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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