Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
