my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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