i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this boner is exhausting
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
