My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
