y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize