upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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