i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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