i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
