I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
