I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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