East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
