wat bout pragnant strippers??
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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