saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
