Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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