summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
