So drunk its hurt
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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