my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
