I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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