So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
