the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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