Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
