Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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