I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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