we have officially lost it.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
