It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
