She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
