So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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