Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
