i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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