Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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