I don't think brook has ever known best
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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