my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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