Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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