I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
