Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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