Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize