All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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