Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
