I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
