Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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