First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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