we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
