just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
