Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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