i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
