halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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