just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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