Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He has the fingertips of a God
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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