i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
