just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
