At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
smell my finger.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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