i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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