we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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