what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i think i just lost a toe
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
