Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
