I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
don't judge my taste in strippers
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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