Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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