Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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